


Inevitable

by Retrospaace



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: 100 words per chapter, Angst, Drabble Collection, F/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Reader-Insert, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-02-07 01:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12830280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retrospaace/pseuds/Retrospaace
Summary: You can want things, but in the end, everything is as it's supposed to be.





	1. Starboy

Your master, a wizened togruta woman, clucked her tongue in disapproval. You both watched from afar on a balcony as the newest youngling, Anakin Skywalker, practiced in the gardens with master Kenobi.

“The fact that the council allowed  him to be here is ridiculous and heresay,” your master grumbled, arms crossed with her head tilted. 

“I think it was a wise decision, Master.”

He was already moving so fast in his studies, surpassing younglings who’d been learning the trade of the jedi for years, including you.  

You were terrified at the notion of him becoming stronger without the jedi code. 


	2. Party Monster

On your thirteenth birthday, one of the younglings invited you to a club in the center of Coruscant. Although your Master highly disapproved of such things, you agreed to go.

Since you were technically underage, the youngling you went with had to sneak you in. You were hesitant at first to be there but soon found yourself dancing freely, glad for once you weren’t being regarded with the wariness that normally accompanied your status. 

When you snuck back into the temple, you spotted Anakin watching you creep to your room. 

Maybe you would invite him next time. He seemed lonely.


	3. False Alarm

Love. A word that was as foreign as it was enticing.

Until of course your Master told you the consequences of such a thing. 

Tales of powerful force users succumbing to the darkside in order to “save” the ones they loved. It terrified you to think that such an emotion could have that much sway on someone. You had felt the warmth such a feeling possessed, though you would continually deny its magnetizing pull.

Yet, you couldn’t forget your heart skipping a beat when you and Anakin’s eyes met. You tried ignoring it. It worked, until one day it didn’t. 


	4. Reminder

You don’t know when it started. The skipping heartbeats, the tongue-tying, the clammy palms, but when you finally caught onto what was happening, it felt like you were drowning.

Anakin, still somewhere hovering between acquaintance/ casual friend, was slowly being idolized in your eyes with a halo of infatuation surrounding his entire image. He seemed like the shining example that every padawan should strive to be.

But he was just human, albeit a force wielding human. One with a sinister air about him that your master tried warning you about, but you continued to ignore until it was too late.


	5. Rockin'

Drugs were frowned upon, but just like relationships, young padawans were prone to dabble in such things. You were no exception.

You had been smoking something rather tame, taking slow drags, watching the smoke float into the night air as you leaned against the balcony railing. You were fifteen and high, which you blamed on why when Anakin stepped out onto the balcony with you, you offered him a puff. He cautiously accepted it, and you watched, enraptured as he took a drag.

It felt like you were corrupting a beautiful, holy river.

It was more exhilarating than the drugs.


	6. Secrets

Padme Amidala. It was like a curse, something you strictly never brought up because if you did, Anakin was sure to perk up like a Vultpex. He could talk about her all night long if you’d let him. Most of the time you were able to shut him up by shoving your pipe at him ,or by throwing pens you were writing with at his head. 

You weren’t exclusive. Hell, you were sure you weren’t even in the realm of romance for Anakin.

It didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially as time went on and you felt yourself falling.


	7. True Colors

It was right after Anakin and you turned 18 that you finally caved and kissed him.

It was terrible. You’d never kissed anyone before that, and what experience you did have came from the holovids you’d sneak out to see, the stories your friends told you, and the novels you had tucked under your bed.

It should’ve been magical, but when you leaned back, Anakin looked confused and hadn’t kissed you back. You blushed a horrible shade of scarlet and darted away, avoiding Anakin for days afterwards.

You’d finally acted on the strange pull you had towards Anakin, and yet...


	8. Stargirl Interlude

You had this dream, that you and Anakin weren’t force sensitive, that you weren’t about to lose your padawan braid as Anakin complained about still having his. 

You dreamed that you could live a life outside the order, away from destiny, away from everything. You’d be cooking dinner with him every night, but your smiles and kisses filling you more than any food you’d eat.

However, as you stood outside Anakin’s door, you stopped yourself from knocking and mourned the reality of your situation. You weren’t ever going to get that kind of life.

You left his door. And cried.

  
  



	9. Sidewalks

 

When Obi Wan and Anakin were shipped off to protect a senator from Naboo, you hadn’t realized that the senator in question would be the woman you’d despised since the moment you heard her name.

Yet, you sat there, watching as the boy you had become friends with grow into a man in what seemed to be a matter of days. He seemed happier, and while you practically begged to know what happened, the padawan turned jedi clammed up and never spoke a word about it.

It broke your heart, but at this point you were used to that, unfortunately.


	10. Six Feet Under

When the clone wars started, you hadn’t expected yourself to take to it like a fish to water. But here you were, a robotic, cold killer on the battlefield as you obliterated droids left and right, all the while resisting the darkness that settled on the fringes of your force sensitivity.

Anakin had become a general, and while you could’ve had a position similar due to the dwindling numbers of the jedi, you’d refused. You wanted to distance yourself from Anakin and Padme. 

  
So here you were, becoming a shadow of yourself in an effort to get past your feelings. 

**Author's Note:**

> Warning this is entirely self indulgent and based off the songs in the Weeknd's Starboy Album


End file.
